Parenting 101: Television

I know I've discusses the topic of television with kids before... This comic sums up exactly what I see on a daily basis.

Jonah has an accute case of Media Deficite Syndrome. As you can probably imagine, this is where someone has the inescapabe urge to have some kind of media around him at all times. Television is the most common, but of late the Game Boy Advance and PS2 are at the tops of his list.

Considering it's the Winter Break from school it's completely natural for him to immerse himself in these things that he doesn't get to do as often while school is in session. I'm curious how things will go once he heads back to school next week...

Here's a perfect comic for the topic.

Parenting 101: Chores

I recall being a kid and having special things that I needed to do around the house. Starting out at a younger age it was something as simple as cleaning my room. To a young person, this can seem to be a daunting task as the accumulation of clothing and toys on the floor can resemble the aftermath of a hurricane or tornado. I now understand why my mother would describe my room in this manner. Of course her most common description was that of a pig sty. I guess this came from her growing up on a farm. All I can recall about pig sty's is that they smell very, very bad.

So now that I'm a parent it's difficult to get my frame of mind back to when I was Jonah's age. I was brought back to my youth this morning while speaking with Holly. In the eternal pursuit of candy, Jonah decided to get some candy for himself and his sister from the top of the refrigerator. Having been caught and punished several times in the past, this did little to keep him from trying once again.

It took me back to when I was about his age and would use the drawers like steps to get up on the counter to get to a large container of candy stored on top of the refrigerator. There was this one type of candy that was like taffy that was peppermint flavored that was my father and I both enjoyed. I recall getting caught several times, but I also recall getting away with it as well.

I guess sometimes in the eyes of the child, the chance of getting caught is worth the chance of getting away with some candy. It's times like these that Jonah and Brielle actually get along. When the sneak-factor kicks in, they bond together pretty well. I guess there's hope for them yet...

I kind of strayed from my initial topic, but this Calvin and Hobbes comic reminded me of things that I had to do as a child.

Have a great weekend!

Parenting 101: Procrastination

I found a series of Calvin and Hobbes that fits the season just right...

To start off, I've been a procrastinator all my life... I say this not to brag or be proud of it, it's just the way I've been for as long as I can remember. This is an atribute I'm not particularly fond of, yet I put off doing anything about it... I suppose this is the very definition of a paradox.

Anyway, in the spirit of procrastination, Some Calvin...

The Death of Customer Service Part 1

I've written about this before... This past weekend I've come to realize that the decline of customer service has continued it's course unabated. In the period of less than 24 hours we had problems with Pizza Delivery, a drive thru coffee place and Taco Bell. The first situation happened Friday evening.

We had decided to have pizza delivered. As we didn't have any cash in our hand we had to opt for the pizza place that would take our credit card over the phone. I called Papa John's and a teenage girl took my order. She said it would be 30 - 35 minute. 45 minutes later I called to ask about the pizza. She said that the delivery guy had just left with it. After 1 hour I called again. The same, or similar pizza g irl answered the phone and said they've been pretty busy and the pizza guy had just left.

I seem to notice a pattern here...

6 Minuted later, the Pizza guy arrives... YEAH!!! All hail the pizza guy. The kids were jumping for joy, the dogs were bouncing around with the prospect of Brielle tossing 90% of her pizza on the floor.

I tipped the guy on the credit card slip and away he went.

We opened the pizza's and found them both to be luke warm.

I wasn't too pleased, Holly was much more upset.

I called again and got one of the two girls I had been speaking with earlier. Of course they gave use the run around that it was a busy night... yada yada yada... Still that's no excuse for cold pizza. They were going to give us free stuff... As unlikely as that would be to redeem, we chose to have them credit our credit card. The girls decided to blame the delivery guy as he was the reason that the pizza was cold. So we asked that the entire amount be credited back to our card. This wasn't too much to ask...

The girl wasn't sure how to do this in the system so she covered the phone (unsuccessfully) and asked a co-worker. Her co-worker unthinkingly says F-Her. (As you can imagine she said the real deal not the edited version I placed here...)

As gasoline poured on a flame flares up, my wife followed suit. Appalled at the mistreatment by the teeny-bopper, Holly called them out on the comment. She explained to them that she has never been so mistreated in a situation where the business was clearly at fault and then the insulting comments was just the icing on teh cake...

I know what you are thinking. For crying out loud Matt, you live in New York. Of COURSE they are going to be surly and using all kind of expletives.

I took this under consideration and while yes, we do live in New York, this really isn't how people are on Long Island. Maybe in the city, but I live 60 miles from the city...

So putting the fear of God into the young ladies, she did not blame the girl asking the question, Holly made a point to get the managers name who was conveniently on vacation. For now I'm not sure if Holly will contact the manager but we'll see.

I'll save the other two issues for the next entry. I can see the next big training seminars gearing up for customer service training. It's pretty sad that you have to teach people basic human kindness and interaction. Oh, and maybe a touch of work ethic... Maybe too much to ask...

Does anyone remember the days of "your pizza is there in 30 minutes or it's free"??? I guess that gimmic died long ago...

The Joys of Shopping Part 2

As I stated in The Joys of Shopping Part 1, shopping with children isn't all that enjoyable. Since they all have their own personalities, I'm pretty sure I didn't see that option on the order form, they make the experience just that... An Experience...

Since the oldest boy and the girl are of opposite opinions about shopping, they are like oil and water at this age.

The one saving grace is that the trip to and from the store is distracted with a DVD player in the SUV. Thank GOD for that!

Once at the store all bets are off. Sometimes they are great for a while, but eventually they are running around, poking one another or generally just whining about the fact that we are still shopping.

At times Holly and I are driven to the point of Seinfeld's Frank Costanza yelling "Serenity Now!"

There are certain points of shopping that are predictable. The kids love checking out the lobster tanks. The havethe occassional crabs as well. But our favorite store also sports a giant lobster. They vary in size much like anywhere else in the country but recently they've been putting one GIANT lobster in with the rest. This one is generall y between 8 and 10 pounds. To give you an idea of how big this is... Imagine what a normal sized lobster looks like in the tank. Now imagine a lobster with one clow being the size of a regular sized lobster...

Yeah.. I know... huge!

I love my family... We do have a lot of fun together, but shopping isn't one of our best times. To be honest, I don't mind shopping by myself in the least. I don't have to worry about any arguments about what cereal we are getting, whether or not the yogurt is the right flavor... It's somewhat peacful. I then feel for those families I pass with three children arguing down one aisle or another. The poor bastards....

The Joys of Shopping Part 1

Shopping with children... sucks... There I said it! It really does. 90% of the shopping excursions we take as a family are less-than-pleasant experiences.

Why you ask? Well lets put the equation together.

I have a 7 year old boy who, if given the opportunity, would stay firmly attached to any visual device that entertains. Television, Playstation, Gameboy, DVD player... Anything that will make him transform into vegetation, he's in to.

I also have a 2 1/2 year-old girl who loves to get out of the house. She doesn't want to stay home at all. She wants to walk around town, go to the store or just do anything to not be home. When we start going back home, she starts to chant, "No Home, No Home". Which is quickly followed by "Yes Home" from the 7 year-old... Which results in the much anticipated screaming match.

The third, and final, part of the equation is the 3 1/2 month old boy. He pretty much just hangs out. If the trip lasts too long, he lets us know about it. So he's pretty much the neutral party in this.

So we have the Boy who can't stand shopping and will drag his feet and delay the inevitable, all the while ticking off his parents for not listening. Then we have the girl who, not unlike the dogs when they hear the word "food" or "outside", runs and grabs her shoes chanting, "let's go! let's go!"

With this base, I'll leave you to ponder the moments with some Calvin.

Parenting 101: Remembering the good old days...

Jonah has quite the imagination...

Lately he had been playing a lot of video games which then get his mind into the mode of games he would like Santa to make for him for Christmas. It's very cute! Although sometimes that's all he talks about and trying to get his mind focused on other things can be a bit of a challenge.

Imagination is an awesome thing. You can transport yourself to anywhere and be anything with the blink of an eye. There are many mediums that take advantage of peoples imaginations. Books have been around for many many years where television and video games are still infants in the grand scheme of things.

Many people believe that television and video games are the harbingers of death in relationship to imagination. If you try to apply this to Jonah, it's the complete opposite. I keep suggestion that he write all these ideas down so that when he's old enough to start learning to program he can make these games and get himself into a great career. Considering he's 7, the programming for games will change 5 or 6 times before he hits college to learn all this stuff.

I know that if he uses his imagination as a method of making a living he's going to do very well.

In the spirit of imagination, a little Calvin & Hobbes to brighten your day...

Confessions of a fallen Blogger...

I have to admit it... This isn't easy for me... But I'm a BBBAAADDDD Blogger... For all those that have been following my blog, I apologize for not blogging in quite a while.

I won't throw out all kinds of excuses... I could say that my computer died, I lost access to the internet from work, the sun was in my eyes... But truth be told, I just got caught up with other projects... I'm now taking up the torch again and beginning to blog once more.

To those loyal readers, thanks for the patience. For the new ones. I hope you enjoy this blog.

Let the blogging commence...

Build-a-Bear

This weekend we went to the Build-a-bear store in the mall. It was kind of on accident that we found ourselves in this store. Our main reason for being in the mall was to escape the heat and have the kids ride the carousel. Apparently the carousel has been gone for awhile. I guess that shows how often we head to the mall. So to kill some time, and keep cool, we went into the build-a-bear shop.

If you have never been to one it’s pretty much just what it’s called. You build.. a bear… But they have other pre-stuffed animals as well. Suck ahs money’s, puppy’s and giraffes. What caught our attention was a Cookie Monster. Now for those of you who don’t know, Brielle Loves Cooking monster. Several times a week I have to show this video from Youtube for Brielle to sing along with. Go ahead play it… You’ll remember the words… Sing-a-long… Go ahead, your co-workers won’t mind. They’ll probably join in!



For Brielle’s birthday we searched everywhere for a stuffed cookie monster. We couldn’t find any anywhere. The closest thing we found was a cookie monster that would do the hokey pokey. I think it scared her more than she liked it… So when we saw the Cookie Monster at this place, we knew we have to get one.

So we ended up getting all three kids a “bear”. Brie with her Cookie Monster, Jonah with his Black bear and even Liam was treated to a nice little bear…

The kids were involved in the stuffing process.. They pressed down on a pedal which made the fluff shoot out of this steel tube shoved into the back of the critter to be stuffed. They then took a small heart and had to warm it up with their hands, kiss it and make a wish. Very cute…

After the bear is done they give them a bath. Essentially it’s a fake bathtub with shower heads that spray air on the bear.

They then fill out a form on the computer to make up the birth certificate. Then the parents get taken to the cleaners…

The other cool part of this is that you can have the stuffed critter implanted with a sound module. For the cookie monster he says several things in cookie monsters voice. For Jonah’s he chose a vicious roar.. no surprise there… And for Liam, Holly and I recorded a special message for him on the module.

That evening they both slept with their bears. (We are saving Liam’s for later). Here are the pics with them asleep with their new "bears".

All in all a good trip to the mall

Mohawk...

Inspired by my buddy Will and his son Cameron back in Michigan I decided to go for the popular hair style of the day. Since I am already employed, and I answer phones for a living, I could afford a new look… I was surprised to be at Jonah’s school and see several kids with Mohawks as well. Jonah doesn’t seem that interested in getting one, other than playing around in the bathtub in a pretty good impersonation of Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller’s day off less the singing.. “I recall.. .Central Park in fall.. How you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess…” Jonah has yet to see this movie with me, although he has seen most of Back to the Future which seems to play every other weekend on some cable channel or another…This a classic that I rank right up there with Ferris and his famous day off.

Now I need a piece of metal poked through my lip and my nose with a chain joining the two… Oh and a new crotch rocket. A Harley doesn’t have the right attitude for the Mohawk…

Maybe the next hairstyle will be the semi-popular early 90’s look of shaved words on my head…

Visitors from Afar...

My family was able to come out to visit with us a few weeks after Liam Matthew came into our world.

Abby and Brielle were hanging out and having a great time while Jonah and Alex hung out and played on the computer. A water fight was fit in there somewhere... I think I went grocery shopping and missed all the action.

My Mom brought along a large amount of plants from home to help decorate our yard. Some Hydrangia, Rose of Sharon and Canadian Redbud were planted in the front where there is a lot of light, and several ferns and lily of the valley were placed in the back to make this area a little nicer to look at.

I'll post photos of plants later, for now here are some pics of the family!!!

Landlord firsts...

Since purchasing our house we finally set everything up to rent the apartment at our house. Everything was set and cleaned and working nicely. Of course, that's when the toilet decided to give us some trouble.

The toilet valve leaks just enough to make it run almost constantly.

So being the handyman that I’m not, I opened up the tank to take a look. I’ve had to do a little work on toilets in the past, so it wasn’t a completely alien view to me. That being said, this toilet looked like it just fell from the International Space Station. What I was expecting to see was something called a “Flapper” a funky valve attached to a chain. What I found was some plunger looking device growing out of the hole to the toilet bowl with a lever attached to the handle of the toilet.

I went to the local hardware store and he gave me a flapper… He said this would do the job. It didn’t…

I went back to this hardware store but they were closed, so I went to another one armed with me trusty cellular phone equipped with my handy dandy camera. The guy looked at the picture on my tiny screen and scratched his balding head. "I don’t recognize that thing but let’s look", he mumbled as we weaved our way through aisle upon aisle of things I hope I’ll never need. We finally stopped in front of a ton of tubes and plastic things. He grunted and pointed and started scratching his head again. I looked around and suddenly saw the alien device that sat in the toilet tank. Would you believe it was called a toilet valve… Imagine that.. calling it something that it actually is… So I bought the thing and read through the directions and started scratching my head as well… (There must be something contagious about plumbing…)

The instructions told me to remove the tank from the bowl of the toilet. But of course never mentioned HOW to do this. Great…

So I went to my savior, the Internet. I quickly found what I needed and began to sob. Apparently hacksaws, tape and other utensils are also needed for this project which complicated the process even more..

Several expletives flew from my mouth as I ranted and raved for a while about toilets and those who manufacture them.

The likelihood of my getting this to work is next to nothing. I found out that it’s actually easier to install a brand new toilet than to install this piece of crap into the old piece of crap crapper!

My next step is to head out on the quest for a new toilet.

Here he is!!!

Liam Matthew Engel has finally made his appearance! He was born on June 23, 2006 at 5:15 PM. He weighed 7 lbs 12 oz and was 20 inches long. Everything went very well with the delivery with both Holly and Liam doing very well. The little guy started screaming right away and is very healthy.

Here are a few photos, I'll post more later.

So far the little guy is very calm. Hopefully he keeps this attitude... I'm sure we will have some Parenting 101 Blogs with him as the focus in the near future...

Parenting 101: Quick List

Currently the blogger site does not have an option to group blog entries by category, I'll put this notice out with links to all of the current Parenting 101 Blogs and any others that are similar with Calvin and Hobbes on the scene. Hope you all enjoy these!
Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes
Pre-Parenting 101
Jonah in the funny papers... Friday, February 24, 2006
Jonah, Once again in the funny papers Monday, February 27, 2006
Jonah / Calvin at dinner Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Sometimes, they are just too smart for our own good... Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Jonah was hoping... Thursday, March 02, 2006
Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes
Parenting 101 Blogs
Parenting 101 Friday, March 03, 2006
Parenting 101: Dinner Monday, March 06, 2006
Parenting 101: Dinner table manners Monday, March 06, 2006
Parenting 101: Listening Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Parenting 101: Bath Time Thursday, March 09, 2006
Parenting 101: Reading between the lines... Friday, March 10, 2006
Parenting 101: Snacks... Monday, March 13, 2006
Parenting 101: True.. But Why?!?! Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Parenting 101: Mornings Friday, March 17, 2006
Parenting 101: The things we do for our kids... Monday, March 20, 2006
Parenting 101: Where do babies come from? Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Parenting 101: Dinnertime Fun Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Parenting 101: Tonight's Bed Time Plan... Friday, March 24, 2006
Parenting 101: Housework Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Parenting 101: Starting a Club Thursday, March 30, 2006
Parenting 101: Finance Monday, April 03, 2006
Parenting 101: Home Improvement Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Parenting 101: Where do they get these ideas? Thursday, April 06, 2006
Parenting 101: Testing Boundaries Friday, April 07, 2006
Parenting 101: Shaping their minds Friday, April 14, 2006
Parenting 101: Television Thursday, April 20, 2006
Parenting 101: Labor Pains Monday, April 24, 2006
Parenting 101: Driving Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Parenting 101: Only the facts... Thursday, April 27, 2006
Parenting 101: Shopping Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Parenting 101: More Questions Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Parenting 101: Bed Time Friday, May 05, 2006
Parenting 101: Meal time Monday, May 08, 2006
Parenting 101: Questioning your reasoning... Monday, May 22, 2006
Parenting 101: Summer Vacations Friday, May 26, 2006
Parenting 101: Just a little fun... Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Parenting 101: Couldn't be closer to the truth... Thursday, June 01, 2006
Parenting 101: Writing stories Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Parenting 101: Lunch on a daily basis... Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Parenting 101: Reading and what they learn... Thursday, June 15, 2006
Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes Matt Engel Matthew Engel Matt Engel Matthew Engel Matt Engel Matthew Engel comics
I hadn't realized how many of these I've made so far. Once again, Enjoy!
Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes Parenting 101 Calvin and Hobbes Calvin & Hobbes

Oh, Oh it's Magic...

My buddy Cliff sent me this video today... I hadn't seen this magician before. I guess I haven't spent much time on A&E lately...

I've seen David Blain and his act of levitation, which appears to be more camera trickery mixed with astonished reactions from onlookers who are in a specially selected angle for view.

This guy has a different way to do it. I'm impressed.

Enjoy!





I found another of his videos that gives you an idea on how he does some of his tricks...

Parenting 101: Reading and what they learn...

Since Jonah has been learning to read, he is absorbing so much information. While we are driving he is reading the signs as we pass by. He even tries to read to his sister every now and then. Most of the time she enjoys it, other times she just wants to rip the pages apart. I guess that's part of the "Terrible Two's" we are going through right now.

I found a series of Calvin and Hobbes clips that fit this situation pretty well. I can see Jonah doing this at any moment.

Enjoy!

Parenting 101: Lunch on a daily basis...

Setting up school lunches can be a pain...

It's a lot easier to throw some money in a baggie for the kids to get lunch at school, but it's a bit more economical to pack a lunch for them. Whether they eat it or not is another thing all together.

We make a weekly trip to the Warehouse center nearby to pick up many grociery items in bulk. The bulk pack of snack chips for lunches, the puddings and of course drink box/pouches.

Invariably the wrong choice has been made in drink or sandwich ingredients.

Jonah: "I don't like these drinks."

Mom/Dad: "You picked them out at the store,
so you have to finish them before we buy more."

Jonah: "I hate them!"

Mom/Dad: "Sorry, you will have to make do."

What we usually find out at this point is that he chose this particular drink because of the cool pictures on it. Not the flavors.

The same thing goes for Cereal. We recently went to the store and Jonah really wanted the Cocoa Pebbles. No complaint from me, I grew up on the stuff (although fruity pebbles in my opinion are much better.)

The next morning I get breakfast ready for everyone and Jonah doesn't want the Cocoa Pebbles. Holly and I remind him that he chose them. The then he discloses that he just wanted the toy that came with it...

Blast from the past...

My office mate came across this video and I thought I'd share it with you here as well.

It reminds me of when I was younger and watching television with the family. Enjoy!

4 Years Ago Today...

Today, Holly and I celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. Looking at that number 4 makes it seem like it wasn't that long ago at all that we took our stroll down the aisle back in Frankenmuth Michigan with all our friends and family in attendance. It feels like we have known each other forever. Which, I guess, is what marriage and family as all about. Well at least a part of it at least...

A lot has happened in our lives since we were married. The day after our wedding we spent part of the day watching the Bavarian Festival Parade which fills my old home town with tourists of all ages. Consumption of much beer and Bratwurst is a prerequisite for this event. The next day we left for our Honeymoon in South Beach, Miami. Our initial plan was to stay in South Beach for a few days then drive down to the Key's. This didn't really go as planned.

We planned our trip at the same time as Monsoon Season, not on purpose. Not exactly the best time in terms of weather, but we were Newly Wed's... We had a Suite overlooking the ocean. That's about all we really needed for the duration.

There were several days where it was nicer and we were able to venture out without being drowned. There was one particular morning where I decided to walk to the nearest Dunkin Donuts. We had driven past a number of times and it didn't seem all that far. It wasn't that far by car. By foot it was a bit further in time. It turned out to be a mile away. About halfway there it started to rain. Of course I had no umbrella, which is probably just as well because the wind would have blown it apart in no time. My cellular phone was left charging in the room. It was one of my more brainy days...

I made it to Dunkin Donuts, ordered our food and asked for extra bags to bag everything up in for the walk back. This time I was walking into the wind. Now this wasn't as terrible as you would think. The rain was very warm. It actually felt like I was walking in the shower, it was that warm. I kept watching for Holly to pull up in the Convertible we had rented and pick me up out of the rain. She never showed up, but I made it all the way back to the Eden Roc after being gone for 2 hours.

Walking through the lobby was a real treat. My clothes were completely saturated. What was interesting is that the wind had dried my back off while I was walking into the wind. The rain was hitting only the front of me on my walk back. I received some rather peculiar looks as I left sandal shaped water puddles on the marble clad floor.

Upon arriving to the suite, I found Holly on the bed lost in a television show. She looked at me and started to laugh asking what happened to me. Apparently she had no idea that it had been a down-pour outside... I glanced at the wall of windows and watched as the rain ran down in a sheet.

A puddle grew at my feet as I stood there dripping with the bags of Dunkin Donuts treats. They say a picture is worth a thousand words... Here you go.

Looking back, the walk itself was not all that bad. It's a memory I will carry with me for the rest of my life which will always make me smile.

We had a great time on our Honeymoon, rain storms not with standing...

So far I hadn't posted wedding details and honeymoon details. Some of the details of the last four years together are chronicled in the Moving blog entries which can be found below:

The Move (Packing)
The Move (communications) sidebar
The Move (on the road)
The Move (the rest of the way...)
The Move (the morning after)

Holly has been the best wife I could ever ask for. She has brought Jonah, Brielle and the new addition (6/23/06) into my life which has brought me much joy. I Love them all dearly.

Happy Anniversary Babe!

I Love you,

Matt

Parenting 101: Writing stories

Jonah has really gotten into creating his own books. We recently went shopping for office supplies and bought Jonah his own ream of paper to write his books. Considering he had already gone through several reams of our printer paper, we figured this to be the best idea.

He starts off by drawing the pictures of the story and then goes through and writes out the story. He has several stories written already. All of them are quite good, of course being his father I guess there's some bias there. But for just turning 7 and still in the early stages of reading, both Holly and I think he's doing very well.

The first story of his that I have scanned in is a variation of the Three Little Pigs that we all grew up with. I'll post some of his original stories soon. I haven't had the opportunity to scan them all in yet. Please forgive the quality of this first book. I'm working out the bugs between Adobe Acrobat and my scanner.

Here's the story in Adobe PDF format. The Three Little Pigs - By Jonah Hercules (More stories to follow...)

If you don't have Adobe Acrobat reader, you can download it from here: