The Move (on the road)

As we traveled south on I-75 through Detroit, I found that the 26 foot U-Haul truck would go no faster than 45 mph. No matter how hard I pressed the pedal to the floor the truck would not pass 45!. I must have calculated in my weary mind for over three miles before I figured out that at this pace we would add an extra six hours to our calculated drive time. Wonderful…

The sun was setting over Detroit as we chugged away at 45 mph. I called my lovely wife Holly on her cellular phone and notified her of the speed problem. She and Jonah were singing kid songs from CD’s with the dogs sprawling over any extra space available to them.

Holly wasn’t at all pleased thus far with our experience with U-Haul but we made the best of it and stopped halfway through Ohio for the night.

We woke early the next morning and left before sunrise to get an early start. I wasn’t afraid of getting ticketed for breaking any speed limits so I kept the truck floored the entire way to Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is fairly flat as you travel east but eventually you start hitting some hills. Then you come upon some bigger hills. I think they call these mountains. Being from Michigan I had not come across these all that often. Entering the mountains did not fair well with the POS truck I was driving. By the time I reached the top of most of the steeper mountainous roads I was traveling 30 mph. I also discovered this pretty little red light that would turn on as I got to the top. I read the small lettering beneath it. “over heating” I then could hear a funny buzzing sound that I could barely differentiated from the rattling, creaking and banging of the truck.

As I reached the summit the light turned off and the buzzing ceased. Smiling at my good fortune, I coaxed the truck as fast as it would go to catch up to Holly once again. She didn’t realize that the truck didn’t sustain the 45 mph going uphill so she was a good distance ahead. The mountains and valleys grew more and more numerous and the familiar light and buzzing came and went with the crest of each. I had a plan, that if it stayed red too long going uphill I would pull over and let the engine cool down for a while. A good plan in theory, but I was to find out a bit more difficult to implement.

Yet another mountain, but this time with some twists, turns and construction zones. I found myself surrounded by large semi trucks that passed me with ease even in the mountains of Pennsylvania. One such truck was unable to pass me even while towing the body of an army tank. Yes, I said tank and I meant tank. The only thing missing was the turret.

Of course the construction zones in the mountains were on the roadsides which meant, you guessed it, no shoulder to pull off on. As I started up the hill the lovely buzzing and red dashboard light lit up and stayed on. The winding road continued uphill on and on with twists and turns and a constant grade that never let the engine slow it’s laboring. The orange cones and pylons lined the road making an emergency stop an impossibility. I tried to contact Holly via cell phone but to no avail. No service registered on my phone and stayed that way until I reached the top.

At long last the summit had been reached. At this point I was traveling roughly 30 mph and had managed to upset every trucker possible on that stretch of highway. I decided the engine should take a rest after this last uphill marathon run . Luckily Holly had pulled over to the side and waited for me at the top. I was quickly able to hail her on the phone and pulled to the side of the road as well.

As soon as I reach 25 mph I saw the white cloud pouring from the engine compartment. I stopped and shut down the truck as quickly as possible but the damage had already been done. I sat in the cab watching the steam pour from the hood. Great… what next I thought as I climbed from the cab and pulled open the hood of the derelict before me.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I know NOTHING about cars, trucks or any other kind of vehicle that runs on any kind of motor. I can check the oil, change an air filter and put gas in a car. That pretty much sums up my knowledge of the interior of a vehicle.

Of course, this truck was a gas guzzling truck, it drank diesel. So when I opened up the compartment and saw this tiny little thing in the center of this vast interior, my intial thought was. “Jesus, I lost most of the engine.” Then I realized that this is what a diesel engine is supposed to look like, of course it shouldn’t’ have all this steam pouring out of the radiator.

I jogged back to Holly’s car and gave her an idea of what was going on. We formulated a plan that seemed feasible at the time. Since the roadtrip had been going on for quite some time, we had a surplus of empty gator aid bottles all over the vehicle plus a cool with melting ice in it. Luckily the spigot that empties the chest was right beside the door.

As I played bar tender filling each of the containers with the icy liquid, Jonah passed more containers to me until the last of the melted ice had dripped from the chest.

I headed back to the truck and prepared to quench the thirst of the beast. I was able to scrounge up some spare paper to allow me to open the radiator over flow without cooking the flesh from my hands. Soon I was pouring and pouring and still pouring until I ran out of ice cold water.

I replaced the cap, put down the hood and climbed back into the cab. With a prayer under my breath I attempted to start the beast. It turned over and over but would not run. I tried and tried again, but still nothing.

While I cursed at U-Haul, construction and the smell of the unidentifiable rotting carcass in the highway ditch, Holly was calling U-Haul to get things taken care of. Nearly an hour and a half later a tow truck pulled up with a scrawny man at the helm. He pulled several gallons of water and antifreeze from the back and began filling the reservoir to capacity. He tried to start the truck as well to no effect. Except of course for the sieve that was now the engine. Apparently the final stretch of road blew the head gasket of the truck. We were finally able to get the truck started, but with a trail of fluid leaving a path for all to follow. The very next exit had a facility to tow the truck, which U-Haul graciously offered to do for us.

I removed the restraints from my Blazer and drove it off the trailer. The convoy was now growing to three vehicles. The tow truck driver was given directions on how to get to the town house just in case we were separated. The 26 foot truck was fastened to a large semi tractor with towing capabilities and we were off to New York once again.